cdg wonderwood, Molecule 01/02, Molecule 01 + Iris Escentric Molecules , SHP Evolution - The Now, Love-O-Matic, j-scent Yawahada, creed silver mountain water, fugazzi thirsty, nasomatto silver musk, steamed rainbow, j-scent Tsukishizuku (Mother of Pearl), ds&durga i dont know what, ineke Derring-Do, cdg zero, liis rose struck/studied/floating/ethereal wave, dedcool sunlit blooms, SHP Evolution - Wake Up, Angel, fugazzi angel dust, Molecule 01 + Black Tea, marrissa zappas Dream Sequence,
ideas: the hospital as a secular monastery, fluorescent asceticism, white walls as ritual purification, fasting, sedation, bodily surrender, the stripping of identity into gown + wristband, bataille, alchemy, disease processes, sacred geometry, sedatives, diagnoses, institutional protocol, the inevitability of entropy, neoliberal efficiency, patient throughput, the quiet violence of “stable”
themes: sanctified control over mortality, thanatos (death drive) eros in care (touch, suctioning, bathing), the hospital as the only place where the veil is permanently thin, the strange composure, how repeated exposure to decay changes perception, the quiet intoxication of competence, the only socially acceptable place to stare directly at mortality.
sources: the birth of the clinic, the panopticon logic of observation, the body reduced to lab values
senses: the beep of telemetry, the glow of monitors in darkness, the choreography of time management, the intimacy of a dying body
core thematics: 1. mystical-existential (hospital as alchemical chamber --> lead spiritual transformation, 2. political-critical (hospital as apparatus of biopower, death managed under capitalism), 3. aesthetic-phenomenological (pure sensory immersion, light, smell, plastic, chlorhexidine, skin, telemetry), confessional (how i am slowly being altered)
the hospital as sacred geometry of containment: long corridors forming vanishing points (linear time → death), circular mri machines (womb / cosmic egg / portal), telemetry wires like nervous system extensions, iv lines as vertical axes (axis mundi), the hospital bed centered in a rectangular ritual chamber, the hospital as a mandala of controlled collapse. the grid, the corridor, the symmetry of rooms stacked above rooms, the sterile white cube as ritual square.
the body as fractal ruin or sacred geometry decaying: alveoli branching like trees, neurons spiraling like galaxies, vascular systems like root networks, tumors disrupting pattern symmetry, disease as interruption of divine pattern. when potassium shifts, the heart rhythm loses its elegant wave. when dementia advances, pattern dissolves into noise. geometry destabilizing in real time.
the corridor as labyrinth: endless right angles, no windows, badge access gates, sub-basements. i am sometimes the labyrinth itself. enter myth and selenology: moonlight logic, cyclical time, tides of census and discharge.
entropy managed through ritual: vitals every 4 hours, medication administration windows, lab draws as liturgies. the hospital does not prevent entropy. it measures it and quantifies decay into clean integers. the hospital is not fighting death, but instead it is translating it into geometry.
the nurse as witness to pattern collapse: pattern recognition, seeing spirals everywhere, telemetry as cosmic script, fluorescent grid as fate.
theme: the hospital may be the most metaphysical building in modern society (womb, labyrinth, monastery, alchemical chamber, geometric tomb)
form returning to formlessness. sources? society of the spectacle — spectacle of illness, the birth of the clinic — medical gaze as geometric dissection
"as a chronically online girl who runs her niche neocities blog like the navy, how do i distance myself as much as possible from being associated or similar to substack miu miu yoshitomo nara matcha girls who write shallow mundane self-indulgent performative garbage and only read sylvia plath and otessa moshfegh rather than Hegel or Deleuze?
every post should have intention. avoid writing about brunches and easily instagrammable snapshots of your life. focus on ideas, not selves. instead of “today I felt…” or “my favorite coffee,” write about about careful reflections on culture. curate obscure sources. read thinkers who aren’t immediately digestible or trendy: Hegel, Deleuze, Bataille, Blanchot, even older literary criticism or non-English works. show that your curiosity has depth, not surface-level appeal. focus on language & tone precision > performative whimsy. you want writing that is sharp, clear, confident. avoid literary name dropping for effect. use structure and argument. have a logical flow: premise, argument, conclusion. avoid Yoshitomo Nara style visual cues. make visuals intentional, and resonant (rare art prints, schematics, archival images, diagrams). you want texts that challenge readers and you: Hegel, Kant, Adorno, Walter Benjamin, Foucault, Nietzsche. dense literary texts (Proust, Woolf) or overlooked modernist/avant-garde work. avoid performative reading. don’t read something just because it’s “trendy” online. your reading list should signal depth and rigor, not what fits the aesthetic algorithm. substack/matcha girls thrive on constant visibility and performative engagement. you want scarcity and discipline: only post when meaningful. avoid “mainstream indie” micro-tribes. the goal is to exist in your own orbit. don’t join spaces where aesthetics outweigh content.
don't namedrop brands. me careful when being excessively self-indulgent or hyperfocused on the self. don't even mention your clothing or brands.
dusan marek equator, dora maar pere ubu father ubu 1936, unica zurn untitled, claude cahun and marcel moore photomontage made for the frontispiece of aveux non avenus, yobi-goe okaoue toshiko, cover of nadrealozam danas i ovde no. 1 june 1931 (surrealism here and now, belgrade), l'invention du monde film stills, ami nimhr untitled anatomical corpse 1940, kamel el telmisany blessure wound 1940, laurent marcel salina naissance birth 1944, fouad kamel untitled 1940, wifredo lam la jungla, wifredo lam le present eternal, hirai terishichi tsuki no muso fantasies of the moon 1938, ode a la necrofilia kati horna, gunther gerzso los dias de la calle gabino barreda 1944, alice rahon la balada para frida kahlo 1955-56, leonora carrington chiki ton pays 1944, remedios varo homo rodans 1959, photograph of adnan muyassars afaq jadida ca 1954, adnan muyassar al-fashal frustration 1952, franklin rosemont revolutionary consciousness a rebel worker, \surrealist insurrrection, surrealist exhibition franklin rosemont gallery bugs bunny, the antereater's umbrella neonora carrington, max ernst la belle jardiniere the beautiful gardener, octavio araujo francois boucher por que ou o promontorio (François Boucher Por Que, 1987), octavio araujo a torre do capuchinho, prayura uluchadha yok muet dark era, kiettisak chanonnart, frances del valle guerrero y esfinge, Exposition Internationale du Surréalisme, de schone zakdoek chris van geel, jacques le marechal, hans bellmer, dusan marek light of the darkness film still, enrico baj body snatcher in switzerland, eine kleine dorothea tanning, night flight of dread and delight, hans bellmer la poupee 1957, the arrested flight of surreality, fernando lemos intimacy of the chiado, gordon ford a present for the past, kurt seligmann surrealist composition, enrico baj the great antifascist collective painting, dali soft construction with boiled beans, Kaveh Golestan’s series of tiny photographs, Az div o dad (Of Demon and Beast, 1976),Eikoh Hosoe,
Barakei/ Ordeal by roses, #29, 1962
literary surrealism: The Unspeakable Confessions of Salvador Dalí, story of the eye, la poupee, the surrealist manifesto
kunstformen der natur, plate 85, ascidiacea ernst haeckel 1904,michel de nostadamas astrologer patrizia la porta, the zodiac ernest procter, timur d'vatz astrology the myth of creation, rene alleau astrological diagrams, johfra bosschart femini, zodiac alphonsemocha, air giuseppe arcimboldo,the garden of paracelsus leonara carrington, allegory of the four elements mark ryden, the four elements machumayu, AB EO QUOD leonora carrington,the alchemyst sveta dorosheva, essentia exalta madeline von foerster, alchemy alchemia gatya kelly, the chemical wedding robert ellaby, the hermaphrodite with the world egg laurie lipton, the ancient of days william blake,study for cosmology, diana awkening apollo carl bertling, hathor-horus orryelle degenstrate-bascule, hekate maximillian pirner, osiris for patsy o'hara ann mccoy, die dunklen gotter max ernst, artemis carrie ann baade, cabbalistic magic israel moshe castel, symbol of the nothing and the all absolute (Ein-Sof (The Infinite), piet mondrian evolution, hilmfa af klint tree of knowledge,the path reginald w machel,, oversoul emil bisttram, enlightened ilona harima, l'armour des ames jean delville, the yellw cape odilon redon, heiliger turm im gebirge mit den vier uellen der lebensstrome melchior lechter, the primal wing agnes pelton, rosicrucian symbol of the hermetic order of the golden dawn, pan tree xul solar 1954, ilustration showing the hermetic philosophy of nature from opera 293 chemica ramon llull, trumps mercury as the magus lady frieda harris, la bruja magica leonora carrington, witches sabbath francisco goya,witches kurt seligmann, the witch barry windsor-smith, the sorceres jan van der velde ii, witches at ther incantations salvator rosa, les sorcieres leonor fini,witch of atlas vali myers, baba yaga ivan bilibin, from songs for the witch woman, withces sabbath rik garret from earth magic, hilma af klint group x no. 1 altarpiece, the three madge gill, untitled augustin lesage, photograph of a thought charles lacey,cartomancy frances broomfield, summning the beloved dead emile bayard, abyzou john coulthart, bachelor machine frm behind and below elijah burgher,history of magic part ii initiation alison blickle,
- the cosmos: sacred geometry, astrology and zodiac, elements, alchemy
- higher beings: gods and immortals, kabbalah, hermetic tradition
- practitioners: witches, divination, ceremonial magic
- the strange and uncanny
rene magrittes the lovers, giuseppe arcimboldo's four seasons in one head, Madeleine Gonzalez, the daughter of the ‘Hair Man’, c. 1580, Portrait of a disabled man, 1575–1600, albero della fecondita (fertility tree), the mouth of hell from the hours of catherine cleve, a peruvian doom mural depicting hell painted by tadeo escalante, the codex gigas, kusozu showinge the nin stages of decomposition, eighteenth century set of kusozu paintings, memento mori, ripley scroll, he-gassen fart competitions scrolls, the wound man by ortolf von baierland, arnolfini portrait by jan van eyck,the crucifixion diptych of rogier van der weyden, the garden of earthly delights by hieronymus bosch, unicorn tapestry (full set, including the unicorn surrenders to a maiden and the unicorn is killed and brought to the castle), the fabled unicorn-like qilin, mona vanna the nude mona lisa, the ugly duchess by quentin matsys, the miraculous lactation of st. bernard, jean bourdichon's illustration from the book of hours for use of parisians of st denis of paris, fool's cap map of the world, the composite art of arcimboldo, symmer and fire by arcimboldo, gabrielle d'estrees and one of her sisters, the legend of the baker of eeklo, slaying holofernes or the art of revenge artemisia, Biagio da Cesena, portrait of barbara van beck, miniature accompanying prayers relating to mary magdalene from the italian book of hours manuscript knowns as the sforza hours beate, jusepe de riberas magdalena ventura with her husand and son, portrait of antoinette gonzalez, the temptation of st anthony, the insenheim altar, the tormet of st anthony by a young michelangelo, angel arcabucero, nkisi of the congo people, top and tail 1777, st joseph of cupertino takes flight, the imaginary prisons of giovanni battista piranesi, erastus salisbury field, charles francois ribart elephant, henry fuseli's the nightmare, dream of the fisherman's wife kinoe no komatsu, saturn devouring his son, goya's black paitings including witches flight, bream in 25 feet of water off the west coast of scotland, a psychic portrait of christ in heaven by georgiana houghton, an untitled ink on card by madge gill, ethel le rossignol vision of the afterlife from a goodly company through a spirit guide, joan miro harlequins carnival, A Little Night Music Dorothea Tanning, 1943, the wounded deer frida kahlo, martyrdom of st sebastian, The Throne of the Third Heaven of the Nations' Millennium General Assembly, aloise corbaz, henry darger,
"marchesa luisa casati in 1922. a figure of the belle epoque and muse of surrealist and futurist artists including man ray, casati endeavoured to be a 'iving work of ar', and collected wax likenesses of herself in wids of her own hair. her dress, commissioned from the costume designer of the ballets russes, featured tiny electric bulbs that once short-circuited and gave her such a great electric shock that the blast caused her to somersault backwards.
Cabinet of corals in Ambras Castle, near Innsbrück, venus of willendor (austria), nebra sky disc, Palomar Observatory image of The Pleiades, moche ceremonial vessels, a representation of the sarcophagus lid k'inich janaab,hikeshi banten, marcel duchamp fountain, a photograph of hugo ball reciting the sound poem in a metal costume, marina abramovic rest energy, deepdream mona lisa,
all perfume samples i currently own: black meisterstuck absolute incense montblanc, mfk apom, papillon tobacco rose, leau papier, gypsy water byredo, carnal flower, do son, aroma m geisha vanilla hinoki, santal 33, the noir 29, au dela narcisse fzotic, jo malone pomegranate noir, replica on a date, sonic flower, bianco latte, kerosene unknown pleasures, akro infuse, philosykos, the ghost in the shell eldo, mind games double attack, wild bluebell, jasmine et cigarette eldo, yosh konig, ineke jaipur chai, honeysuckle and davana, black orchid, byredo rose noir, a la nuit serge lutens, papillon salome, montale intense cafe, laboratorio olfattivo vanhera, eau des sens, fumerie furque serge liutens, kerosene pretty machine, zoologist hummingbird, divine moon tory burch, thai tea mith, ineke field notes from paris, kerosene follow, ineke balmy days and sundays, tauer phi une rose de kandahar, dryad papillon, slow explosions, power self initio, mith another tea, ineke derring do, zoologist macaque, rose tonnere, room 1015 cherry punk, eau rihla, yesterday haze x2, fille en aguilles serge lutens, mfk oud satin mood, sage pearl, white tea ea, blue madeleine atelier des ors, allegresse rivieres de cartier, matcha soft serve d'annam, idyllwild ineke, a little secret ia, ray-flection masque milano, queens and monsters henry rose, chris rusak relief edp, kayali white flower, utopia vanilla coco, jorum studio healing berry, amouage lilac love, o, unknown ia, cdg grace coddington, hiram green slowdive, coffe white flowers bohobocco, cdg #3, white nirvana elizabeth and james, imsousiance rivieres de cartier, replica autumn vibes, kayali invite only amber, nirvana black elizabeth and james, aqua allegoria mandarine basilic, cdg #2, the matcha 26, replica by the fireplace, iris poudre, cdg concrete, delina la rosee, replica jazz club, hiram green moon bloom, telegrama ia, stephanie humbert god of fire, mfk amyris femme, flowerbomb, leau froide serge lutens, hothoouse flower ibeke. x10 unknown samples.
resold or past perfumes
travel sizes
eau de rose, do son, tocca florence,
- categories: tops, skirts, outerwear, headwear, dresses, socks, shoes, jewelry, bags, accessories, resold, coords, inspo, wishlist
- link to each one. each photo self-taken with background removed.
- sub-categories: organized by color, style, fabric, or season.
- each item must have surrounding shadow detail
- font: birds or clearface
- theme: pink, cream, white, lace
- option: include year obtained, or where i bought it from
- enter page is "boudoir", each with the categories listed.
- on hover shows different angle of time: either back or side
Shpongle - Once Upon The Sea Of Blissful Awareness 3.HYPNAGOGIC VISUAL IMPRESSION:
[56] By the sea shore. The sea breaks into the land, flooding everything. Then the dreamer is sitting on a lonely island.
[57] The sea is the symbol of the collective unconscious, because unfathomed depths lie concealed beneath its reflecting surface.(1) Those who stand behind, the shadowy personifications of the unconscious, have burst into the terra firma of consciousness like a flood. Such invasions have something uncanny about them because they are irrational and incomprehensible to the person concerned. They bring about a momentous alteration of his personality since they immediately constitute a painful personal secret which alienates and isolates him from his surroundings. It is something that we “cannot tell anybody.” We are afraid of being accused of mental abnormality—not without reason, for much the same thing happens to lunatics. Even so, it is a far cry from the intuitive perception of such an invasion to being inundated by it pathologically, though the layman does not realize this. Isolation by a secret results as a rule in an animation of the psychic atmosphere, as a substitute for loss of contact with other people. It causes an activation of the unconscious, and this produces something similar to the illusions and hallucinations that beset lonely wanderers in the desert, seafarers, and saints. The mechanism of these phenomena can best be explained in terms of energy. Our normal relations to objects in the world at large are maintained by a certain expenditure of energy. If the relation to the object is cut off there is a “retention” of energy, which then creates an equivalent substitute. For instance, just as persecution mania comes from a relationship poisoned by mistrust, so, as a substitute for the normal animation of the environment, an illusory reality rises up in which weird ghostly shadows flit about in place of people. That is why primitive man has always believed that lonely and desolate places are haunted by “devils” and suchlike apparitions.
Footnote 1: The sea is a favourite place for the birth of visions (i.e., invasions by unconscious contents). Thus the great vision of the eagle in II Esdras 11 : 1 rises out of the sea, and the vision of “Man”—in 13: 3, 25, and 51 comes up “from the midst of the sea.” Cf. also 13 : 52: “Like as thou canst neither seek out nor know the things that are in the deep of the sea: even so can no man upon earth see my Son. ...”
songs for ocean "game": the last 30 seconds of satellite anthem icarus, fear of flying, bowery electric, chapterhouse/global communication, seefeel,
game pages: barnacles, starfish, the abyss, cthluhu, the lighthouse
blobfish, yeti lobster, glass octupus, skeleton panda sea squirts, sea bunnies, cyerce elegans, lemon sharks, narwhals, the manta ray, comb jellies, siphonophore, telescope fish, blanket octopus, cirrothauma magna, bbottlenose dolphins,
wuthering heights, a certain hunger, the master and margarita, valley of the dolls, the woman destroyed, the secret history, the little friend, love is a dog from hell, the picture of dorian gray, lolita, the wasp factory, american psycho, socialism: utopian and scientific, das kapital, high fidelity, sharp objects, the black dahlia, dracula, the sailor who fell from grace with the sea, a clockwork orange, naked lunch, the atrocity exhibitio, the tropic of cancer,, no longer human, crime and punihsment, demons, the brothers karazamov, the idiot, the trial, crash by j.g. ballard, brave new world, the sound and the fury, fear and loathing in las vegas, faust goethe, jazz toni morrison, song of solomon, fleurs du mal, on the road, portrait of the artist as a young man, one hundred years of solitude, the agony and the ecstasy by irving stone, trouble in paradise zizek, thus spoke zarathustra, journey to the end of the nightm maldoror and the complete works, nausea, severance, infinite jest, , taipei, ficciones, heart of darkness, dubliners, , war and peace,a confederecy of dunces, at the mountains of madness, the fisherman, dandelion wine, blood meridian, les fleurs du mal, Joyce Mansour, Torn Apart, the collected poems of georges pataille translated with an introduction by mark spitzer,
more
, wages of guilt by ian buruma, Introduction to the Gateway Experience, 1983, Ming Dynasty - Zhou Jiazhou's "Record of Incense", investigative poetry by sanders ed,: The Walls Do Not Fall / Tribute to the Angels / The Flowering of the Rod,, , Sonnets to Orpheus , , The Heat Death of the Universe and Other Stories , Foams: Spheres Volume III: Plural Spherology, Ibn 'Abbād of Ronda: Letters on the Sufi Path, Breathturn into Timestead: The Collected Later Poetry , Dream Story Schnitzler, Arthur, , , , The Romance of the Rose ,Labyrinths: Selected Stories & Other Writings ,Remedia A Moris, or, the Remedy of Love ,The Shadow of a Bird in Flight Faruqi, Shamsur Rahman, the cantos ezra pound, , the malady of death, Poems of Anna Andreevna Akhmatova, ficciones, , , , ectris, pale fire
brainstorming for "sea bunny" section
- this playlist and this playlist<as well as candy claws, tangerine dream, ween, ashra, boards of canada, susuma yokota, miyako koda, seefeel, suzanne ciani, lovesliescrushing, aphex twin, sweet trip
- sea soups, sea angel, sea bunny, tideborne whispers, the salted veil, seafoam, ghosts of the deep, the brine archive, the luminous abyss
- films: august in the water, the lighthouse, the life aquatic, ponyo, the shape of water, jaws
- mussel foraging,
- books: moby dick, the fisherman, the people in the trees, Edmund Burke (A Philosophical Enquiry into the Sublime and Beautiful, 1757), Immanuel Kant (Critique of Judgment), Val Plumwood (Ecofeminist), Edmund Husserl / Abyssal Phenomenology, Rachel Carson – The Sea Around Us (1951), Joseph Conrad – Heart of Darkness (1899), the old man and the sea, the call of cthulhu (and much of hp lovecraft)
- Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari use metaphors of fluidity, depth, and “oceanic” multiplicities (e.g., A Thousand Plateaus discusses flows, deterritorializations, and the concept of becoming, which can be linked to the unpredictability of the sea).
- poetry: Rainer Maria Rilke (The Notebooks of Malte Laurids Brigge (1910)) and Herman Hesse often use water and marine imagery to reflect existential and mystical experiences. Jules Michelet (La Mer). Tim Ingold (Anthropology / Philosophy of Environment). Alain Badiou (Alain Badiou – Being and Event (1988) and Jean-Luc Nancy (Being Singular Plural (1996) engage with the concept of infinity and “the event,” sometimes drawing on imagery like the abyss to explore being, multiplicity, and the unknown. the rime of the ancient mariner
- themes: The Abyss – unknown, infinite, terrifying, sublime (Kant, Burke, existentialists). Marine Life – sentience, ecological ethics, interconnection (Plumwood, Singer). Flow and Becoming – fluidity, multiplicity, impermanence (Deleuze, phenomenology). Mystical / Mythical – ocean as boundary between worlds or consciousness (Rilke, Melville)
- mythical creatures: sirens, mermaids, leviathan, cecaelia, ningen, cthulhu, lochness monster,
- madness at sea and nautical folklore
- ocean museum page, the symbolism of water, shells and conches,
- eldritchean horros, mapping the ocean's breath, whispers from the waves, the brine archive, cancer's hidden cove, songs carried by the sea
- creatures: Coelacanth, Horseshoe Crab, Comb Jellies (Ctenophores), Firefly Squid, Deep-Sea Anglerfish, Giant Pacific Octopus, Sperm Whale, Barreleye Fish, Goblin Shark, Vampire Squid, Ninjen, Leafy Sea Dragon, Sea Angels, Glass Squid, Immortal Jellyfish (Turritopsis dohrnii), Bobbit Worm, Oarfish, Giant Squid, Hagfish, Lamprey, Moray Eel, Mantis Shrimp, Narwhal
- cryptids: Kraken, Leviathan, Aspidochelone, Sea Serpents, Jörmungandr, The Lagarfljót Worm (sea-adjacent), Rusalki (Slavic), Sirens, The Selkie (when weaponized), The Lusca (Caribbean), Caddy (Cadborosaurus), The Morgawr, Trunko, The Nameless Things Beneath the Waves, Dagon, Umibōzu (Japan), The Ningen, The Te Wheke-a-Muturangi, Akhlut
website to do list
- New pages to make: guerrilla girls, tertium organum, spinal catastrophism, hans bellmer (doll page)
- add lace borders to each page
- incorporate normie wardrobe to wardrobe page
- music page: categories albums by genre, make favorite songs page, add playlists for drum n bass compilations, Spotify playlists, etc.
- images to incorporate on library welcome page: candles, antique books, latin text/font, cherub, brain
- finish all dollhouse pages, paris pages, excerpt page, etc... create spanish page
- keeping white shoes clean
- keep them fresh and white is to clean them after every wear. Every. Wear. A little bit of dish soap, water, and a toothbrush are your best friends. I will also use stronger cleaners (like kitchen cleaners) on the bottom as needed, and very carefully.
- 1st Pass is with a toothbrush and dishsoap over the bottoms and mids. Only wash the uppers if they show any signs of dirt. Also the laces. First pass should get all the dirt off the bottoms. Rinse the bottoms off with water at the end of 1st Pass scrubbing.
- 2nd Pass is to repeat the first, but in depth. In depth focus on each part of the mids (if dirty) and bottoms. I usually scrub in circles on the 2nd Pass, and the objective is to get all the dirt 1st Pass missed in all the little nooks and crannies. Make sure to rinse off the bottoms after 2nd Pass scrubbing.
- travel list
- Mauritius
- Hotel Xcaret Arte ~ Mexico
- Riu Palace Costa Mujeres ~ Mexico
- Greece: Crete
- 3 night in Athens, 3 nights in Mykonos, 3 nights in Santorini
- Malta
- Berlin, Germany
- Rome ~ San Luigi dei Francesi
- Rome, Venice, Florence: Rome (2-3 days), Venice (3-4) and Florence (probably 4-6 days).
- Occitanie, France
- Espalion, France
- Canal du Midi ~ France
- Budapest
- Prague
- Ireland
- Belize
- Tikal Ruins ~ Guatemala
- The waterfall in skógafoss ~ Iceland
- South NZ
- Palawan, Philippines (El Nido)
- Copenhagen, Denmark
- Scotland
- US
- Seattle
- Portland
- NY
- Zion National Park
- Yellowstone
- the Grand Tetons
songs for neocities pages
- Woo - Ready for the Moon Trip
- Cloud Bed
- G-Schmitt - Lotus Garden
- santal 33 (year round)
- kerosene dirty flower factory (winter)
- l'eau d'hiver (winter and spring)
- ysl mon paris intensement (winter and spring)
- mugler alien (nights - year round)
- jorum studio healing berry (spring)
- VS bombshell (summer)
- kerosene unknown pleasures (winter and fall)
- lys 41 (summer)
- Innocent World Bambi Skirt: Pair with: Brown heels, creme/brown OTKs, brown beret, ivory or brown cardigan + blouse, ivory wristcuffs
- BTSSB Ribbon Milky Sugar JSK: Pair with: Black RHS, white AP blouse, Black headdress, black parasol, black or white ruffle OTKs.
- BTSSB Brown Clock Bag: Pair with Chess Chocolate OP, JeJ Maria OP.
- avoid polyester materials as much as possible. even brand name poly
- avoid animal ears unless your coord will be sweet + purposely playful
- avoid too many patterns and colors.
- stick to one theme in a coord
- always wear OTKs or stockings. no bare legs
- always wear a mary jane shoe with a heel or platform heel
- always have hair and makeup done. wear wig if unable to do hair
- themes to avoid: bittersweet, over the top, hime, cosplay/costume
- absolutely no Taobao, no Devilinspired (ew), no aliexpress. 42Lolita and Wunderwelt are ok
- don't cheap out on accessories either, especialy hair accessories.
- avoid modern angelic pretty prints like holy lantern or anything marine or toy themed. i personally find it ugly.
- be careful with how many ruffles are on your socks. make sure they match with the rest of the coord
- try to your best ability to match whites, browns, reds, etc.
- if wearing a short sleeve blouse, wear wrist cuffs.
- bonnets are hit or miss.
- don't listen to the advice of popular lolita influencers like carolmiku or lovely lor. they are mostly itas. stick to gothic lolita bible, japanese fasion EGL magazines and books, pinterest for inspo.
- be careful about buying a statement piece. you might regret it like i did.
- juliette et justine dresses are fugly imo. so are most alice and the pirates pieces
- brand purses are made of cheap pleather and are a waste of money. same with brand shoes.
- always wear a petticoat unless old school look.
- velveteen, torchon lace, and gobelin are underrated.
- pieces from before 2013 generally fit better, are structured better, and are better quality.
- avoid all mordern moi-meme-moitie. garbage quality polyester rip off
- don't impulse buy
- i don't care for bloomers
- wavytalk thermal brush
- new set of contacts
- wool socks
- high-quality bras
- la roche posay suncreen
- NYX Ever or Mauve lipliner
- retinol (for oily nose)
- plaid / wool skirts
- warm trenchcoat
- leather jacket
- comfy leather boots
- luggage x2
- macbook
- scarf (silk or wool)
- gloves
- tailored trousers
- tailored white blouse(s)
- wool lined leggings/tights
- thermal wear leggings(?)
- brown eyeliner, brown mascara
- concealer that actually matches
- seiko quartz watch
- dirty flower factory
- l'eau d'hiver
- natural lashes
- cute pajama sets
- leather purse
- extra shoes are actually walkable for >2 hours
- konjac jelly packs
- more hair mascara
- dry shampoo
- cool browns, creams, ivory, peach, light pinks, lavender, baby blue, mint. i can pull off black *sometimes* depending on the way i style it and the fabric + fit
- silver jewelry, nothing rugged or heavy
- heels. heels. heels. and leather boots that are NOT chunky or platform
- my hair in a bun, or with slight waves
- side bangs, or bangs that are slightly pushed to the side
- hot pink lipstick, neutral red lipstick
- babydoll dresses, sweetheart necklines, anything flowy
- rectangular shaped glasses
- hoop earrings, pearl earrings
- pink blush
- mori-kei, sweet and classic lolita, himekaji, old-school jfashion, gyaru, cyberdoll, living doll aesthetic, visual kei, some y2k styles (*not* juicy couture or tacky neon colors), choco girl, coastal cowgirl or western styles (look oddly amazing on me)
- gothic: only if a lot of white colors are incorporated on top of OTT goth makeup (white foundation), otherwise it looks odd on me
- silver/glitter eyeshadow
- velvet fabrics, gobelin, wool, lace
- skirts that either end above the knee or mid-thigh
- coral colored makeup
- dark red, brown, mauve, nude, or warm toned lipsticks
- fishnets, heavily patterned fabrics, gold, mesh
- light colored contacts
- circle-shaped glasses
- plum colors and jewel tones
- mermaidcore/coconut girl, most goth styles, office siren, avant garde, visual kei, bohemian, cottagecore, e-girl, fairy grunge, kidcore, dark academia, clean girl. coquette or dollette (oversaturated and giving shein/fast fashion)
- baggy pants
- chunky platforms, sneakers, ballet flats
- v-necks, denim jackets, bell bottoms
- any dark, warm-toned, neon, or heavy eyeshadow
- most false eyelashes (sadly make my eyes look smaller or droopier, can weigh my face down and make me look old)
- baby bangs or a middle part
- most bodycon dresses or bodycon skirts, and anything showing a lot of cleavage
- olive greens and khakis
- maxi skirts, long skirts. always makes me look shorter and frumpy
- anything trendy or fast fashion. streetwear.
despite fragrantica's multiple controversies, i still used it since it had the best perfume website interface to help me study fragrance notes. well, let's toss that aside now, considering that fragrantica has massively fucked up their interface and it now looks like shit and is unusable for me. i re-organized my perfume collection and i would love to get back into fragrances and expanding my collection of samples again. i'm planning to do a huge update on my perfume page to include my personal perfume reviews and update it with my surplus of fragrance samples i currently own.
- my top favorite perfumes as of now are:
one pattern i have noticed is that my favorite fragrances tend to be more polarizing, hence alien, santal 33, and kerosene perfumes. but i also have a deep appreciation for "basic" scents like YSL and anything from victoria's secret. i would not call myself a perfume snob by any means as i've grown to appreciate popular scents i previously would have "disliked" for being too mainstream. dior poison and hypnotic poison are both masterpieces in their own right, though i think we can all admit that the vintage version of these fragrances are vastly superior than today's formulation. speaking of, i'm going to buy my mom a vintage set of dior perfumes from ebay for christmas!!
how do i wash my delicate garments?
first, find and read the washing instructions on the tag
what if it's dry clean only? try the spot test on each color. take a clean damp white cloth or q tip, and gently rub it on the waist tie or an inside seam. if no color comes off, this is a good sign that it won't bleed in the wash.
the next step is to test wash the waist tie. put it into a delicates bag or a pillow case with a color catcher sheet (shout brand dye-trapping sheet). then put the waist tie in cold water, gentle cycle. if when the wash is done, and the color catcher sheet has no color on it, you can wash your dress in the water and it wont bleed! remember, cold water, delicate cycle, with DELICATE DETERGENT (seventh generation lavender laundry detergent). keep in mind that these steps are for cotton and polyester dresses specifically.
to prep a dress to be washed: take off anything that is detachable, such as detachable waist ties, bows, detachable straps.
washing: first turn the dress inside out, because friction can cause the dress to fade and pill faster. MAKE SURE YOUR WASHER DOES NOT HAVE A CENTER AGITATOR/CYLINDER. if your washer does have it, you can instead wash your clothes in a rope handle bucket. place your dress into a clean pillow case or laundry bag. then place one color catcher sheet in the bag and close/tie the bag. place another color catcher sheet in the laundry machine. place your laundry bag with the dress into the laundry machine and use your gentle detergent in the detergent compartment. set the laundry setting to cold water, delicate, low spin, and light soil level. the less movement and agitation, the better.
after it's done washing, remove it from the laundry immediately, as letting it sit there could cause color bleeding. examine the color catcher, no color on it is a good sign! make sure you have a prepared drying area such as table with clean towels to lay down the dress flat to dry. WE DON'T WANT TO HANG DRY AS THIS CAN CAUSE STRESS TO THE DRESS SINCE IT WILL BE HEAVY FROM WATER. make sure dress is turned back outside in, lay it on clean towels, and fix everything so that it dries how you want it to. e.g. make sure the built-in petticoat is laying how it supposed to, make sure interior liner is sitting nice and straight, take the lace and gently straighten it out so it lays how it's supposed to. we want the dress to dry really well. then let it sit for half the day, and the flip it and do the same thing for the back of the dress with new dry towels.
if washing your dress in a bucket, still turn the dress inside out, put some gentle detergent in the bucket, swish it around in cold water, dunk dress in bucket and let it soak for at least 10 minuntes and mix it. dump out the water and repeat the process 3 times. then put it on a towel, roll the towel to gently press on the dress, and follow same steps for drying the dress mentioned above.
BE CAREFUL WITH THE DRESSES THAT HAVE RED DYES, triple spot check. for velveteen pieces, do not put these in water, dryclean them. before dry cleaning, also take off anything that is detachable on the dress.
i cannot stop listening to this song on repeat. it's so eerie. i want to listen to more idm, space ambient, and ambient dub like i used to when i would study for med surg nursing. more info coming once i put together my music page.
i started reading the birth of the clinic by michel foucault today and i am really enjoying it. i keep starting different books and then losing interest in them, i hope this is not another case of that. i ended up taking a nap and dreamt i was having my work orientation except it was on a snowy mountain and i was stuck on a cliff next to the ocean.
this video has been heavily resonating with me after a few events going on in my life and reflecting on how i want my life to be. i relate to him so much. i can't wait for the amount of growth and change i will inevitably experience from now until my 30's. there's so much to be learned, to be explored and experienced. i want to live for myself. on my own terms.
4/18/25 ~ big purchase.
i'm gonna throw up i PAID $400 FOR CHOCOLATE CHESS STORY OP. this is my most expensive purchase yet... ;-;.. i can't believe i can finally afford this. So far I have matching brown wristcuffs and a matching brown BTSSB clock purse. All I need left is the matching bow/bonnet/beret, brown/cream OTKs, and a pair of elegant brown heels.
Here are some inspo pics for how I'd like to style this piece!:
- Some other things I recently bought:
so i'm getting back into lolita lately and my style tastes have changed. i have a lot of pieces i bought on a whim that i ended up not really liking or wearing. i want to sell a lot of my red and pink pieces and switch into more of a black and white, sax, brown, wine, and mint theme. reds are okay but i feel like they overwhelm me now. so here is a list of some dream pieces i am in the search for adding to my wardrobe:
i wish i looked cute in baby bangs ~ 8/26
i've been experimenting with my style lately and figuring out what looks best on me. i tried multiple times to cut my bangs into baby bangs. but every time, it makes me face look rounder and fatter, and overall look frumpy/silly to where i can't even take myself seriously in the mirror. short hair with baby bangs makes me look insanely young and cutesy to the point where i feel completely de-sexualized and unfeminine, basically less of a woman and more like a child. i realized that as much as i'd love to be the type of girl who's a true winter and can pull off baby bangs, mauve lipstick, and the color black, i was always meant for: side bangs, browns/creams/pastels, and hot pink/red lipstick. i just look silly with baby bangs, even though they are the epitome of what i feel i represent.
i've had to be more honest about the way i should style myself. yes i love wearing black but truthfully, the color black swallows me whole and overwhelms me. i look softer and cuter with browns, reds, and pastel colors. i was meant for a softer look rather than bold. i want to own a black rick owens leather jacket so badly, and i'm trying to figure out how i will pull that off? i think i still can: with dark red lipstick, leather boots, skinny trousers, and heavy black eyeliner. but most of all to take on my alter ego and throw away all sense of "demureness" "niceness" and care for the world. i noticed when i wear black something about it feels unnatural for me these days. i am not a winter in terms of color analysis. if i were to take my best guess, i'd say i'm more of a true summer.
- what looks cute on me:
- what looks off on me (or what i don't feel good wearing):