"Swans music is boring." You wouldn't get it.>
a new fear i have is being friends with someone who is male-centered. i have learned to discern between performative misandry vs. people who stay true to the values they say they espouse. if you call yourself a misandrist, why is most of your social circle straight men? if you call yourself a misandrist, why hate yourself to the point of starving yourself under the patriarchal regime we are already under, doing exactly what your oppressor wants you to do? it is almost like being a "misandrist" has become trendy whilst these same people partake in actions that directly contradict it: splitting rent with a mediocre boyfriend who has made you cry multiple times but you still want to have children with, putting down other women for liking sabrina carpenter or other "girly" interests like pilates, obsessing over a male ex years later, putting oneself down constantly, and trying to fit into the beauty standard to the point of starvation. these were all behaviors of my ex-friends who ironically would say they are misandrists. i have completely outgrown this. so many people are all talk, no show. i have learned to keep to myself now and stay true to the values i want to espouse. a lot of people adopt a politicized label because it sounds sharp, transgressive, or self-aware, but their actual life still revolves around male validation, male attention, male wounds, male approval, and male proximity. i am not judgmental for noticing it. but i do pay attention to what people do, not just what they call themselves.
someone can say “I hate men” all day and still be profoundly male-centered. if men remain the emotional axis of your life, they are still the axis. i have outgrown a whole style of personhood: the kind that speaks in ideology but lives in contradiction and incongruence.
less secure people correct more, perform more, and intrude more.
an important thing you must do in this life is to always nerd out unabashedly and have passions for things and talk about them vocariously.
my favorite poet is mina loy
if gilles deleuze was a nurse, he would probably talk in a kind of philosophical shorthand that would confuse colleagues: “We must deterritorialize the wound care routine and reterritorialize it through a new assemblage of care” …and the charge nurse would blink twice.
there is a subtle habitualizing of cruelty when you cannot see beyond attachment to your own ideas of the world.
hating yourself, and being insecure about your looks as a woman is inherently misogynistic. i refuse to partake in this nor compare myself to others.
corporate life requires an ass licking mindset that i just simply have never had.
i have never seen a crumbl cookie that looks appetizing. those things look ai-generated.
endless yearning for an elegant and beautiful winter coat. my search to find the perfect winter trenchcoat led me to a rabbit hole of warm fabrics. i discovered the beauty of camel hair and angora rabbit fur. my dream is to own a 100% qiviut handknitted scarf.
i'm going to work on my dream journal again. i wish i kept track of my dreams more often. i have some truly vivid and symbolic dreams that i promise i'd write about and then never did. forever lost somewhere deep in my neurotransmitters. i used to be into dream analysis but i felt like my dreams became too complex to even dissect anymore, especially after my dad died in 2022. after my dad died i had nonstop dreams about him for 2 years, and they were always nightmares. everything is a symbol.
really excited to incorporate a "habits" and "calendar" section into my website
trying to figure out how to write a love poem without sounding cliche or overly-sentimental. i am a sentimental person. i write poems for myself but there is always a subconscious, invisible audience of voyers inside my head.
coding and web design is like art therapy for me
i didn't realize that spinelessness was also a sin. this helps me a lot.
no, you don't have autism. you have a social media addiction.
with the weather getting cold now, i'm craving fondue and hearty beefy soups like crazy.
coloured by the stars of the night sky the light of the moon gathers in the dreams of night.
proposing in public is social blackmail
sauté your mushrooms, kids. it truly does make all the difference!
gacha is basically socially permissible online gambling.